Where Is Chuck Norris?

Where Is Chuck Norris?

It is time again for another wonderful Google auto complete!  Today I decided that the best generic word to feed to Google was "where".  Google exploded back at me with the roundhouse kick auto complete of "where is chuck norris?".  I couldn't believe my luck!  So of course I followed it down the rabbit hole to see where it would take me.
Our first stop was NoChuckNorris.com . I don't want to ruin it for you.  Just go check it out.  I'll wait.  That was funny, right?!  I actually fell for it for a second.
The next one, ChuckNorrisFacts.com is full of the famous Chuck Norris facts we have all come to know and love like:
Chuck Norris does not sleep.  He waits.
Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet.  The loser had to wear his underwear n the outside.
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
At this point, you're probably thinking I decided to go with this post just to have an excuse to make a bunch of Chuck Norris jokes.  Well, you're right.  Because they're awesome!  I mean, did you know that Chuck Norris can dribble a basket ball?
Hmm... That reminds me... And some may call me blasphemous for this but there is someone who may be equally as awesome as Chuck Norris.  You may know him from the Dos Equis commercials.  He is...The Most Interesting Man In The World.  I'm sure you've heard the stories:
He bowls overhand.
He can speak French...in Russian.
He's a lover, not a fighter.  But he's also a fighter, so don't get any ideas.
You can see his charisma from space.
He never says anything tastes like chicken.  Not even chicken.
Kind of makes you wonder what would happen if these two ever fought.  Obviously, neither of these two could ever be defeated!  And yet if they faced each other, one of them would have to emerge victorious, right?  I don't know... Sounds like a paradox.  Like going back in time to kill your grandfather  before he sired your parent.  If you kill him, you won't exist to go back in time to kill him in the first place.
These two in a fight to the death just boggles the mind.  That sort of paradox could make the universe implode.  Hell, I've heard just thinking about it too hard can make a person's head explode.  Now that I think about it, I've got a terrible headache!  I need to take a little--



To Be Continued?