Ave Maria And People Getting Whacked

Ave Maria And People Getting Whacked

     I went to a wedding over the weekend and during the ceremony someone sang Ave Maria.  This immediately and inappropriately brought to mind several TV and movie scenes of people getting whacked.  Wtf?! I thought.  Here I am at church, at a wedding no less, and I'm reminded of Hollywood murder scenes?
     I was a little embarrassed but it led me to thinking.  And that's always dangerous for me.  I wondered, "What was the first movie Hollywood used Ave Maria to illustrate a hit scene with?"  I gotta be honest, Google let me down on this one.
     This is also embarrassing:  I don't really know my Godfather Trilogy trivia all that well.  I mean, I'm assuming the first scene this came from was from one of the Godfather movies.  I've seen the movies but it was a long time ago.  Now get ready for some blasphemy:  They weren't my favorite movies.  I know how much people love them, but I was never able to get into them.
     I tried googling (it's ok to not capitalize it when you use it as a verb) "ave maria godfather", "ave maria hit scene", "movie scenes set to ave maria" and I cannot get a specific scene from the Godfather movies!  Here's a fact about me:  I HATE not being able to find something I'm looking for.  Hell, I hate not being able to find something my wife is looking for!  If somebody asks me to find something, then dammit, I'm gonna find it!
     But alas, it didn't happen.  Now, what I could have done was just watch the trilogy, but like I said I didn't like it.  I'm not sitting through possibly eight hours of cinema I don't like to find a scene which may or may not exist.  Just not gonna happen.
     Instead of lamenting the loss, though, let us celebrate what I DID find!

Close match number 1:

This is just a fan vid.  Not from the actual movie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRTkRdeO33o

Close match number 2:

This is from Modern Family.  Not the most on-topic but definitely the funniest!

Close match number 3:

This is the Hitman movie trailer.  The franchise also added to the Hitman: Absolution game trailer, but I thought this one was better.  Timothy Olyphant (Raylen Givens from Justified) with a bald head!  Bald is beautiful!

     As I usually do, I ask for feed back.  What would you like to see on my page?  What questions would you like answered?  And for the love of God, what Godfather scene did they play that song to cause I'm not watching it again!

Is It Legal To Own A Fox?

Is It Legal To Own A Fox?

Oddly enough, I came across this one quite by accident.  I wasn't even looking for a good auto complete.  What I wanted to know was:  Is it legal to buy a still?  I was thinking about making my own whiskey. Turns out it IS legal in case you were wondering.  However, before I got the whole question out, Google unfailingly suggested something weird and unexpected and awesome!  Is it legal to own a fox?
Now this might not sound terribly off the wall until you consider how Google's auto complete works.  What it does is complete a partial group of words with the most commonly searched terms that start with the search string you've already typed in.  For example:  I typed "is it legal" and Google suggested the complete phrase "is it legal to own a fox".
I know people are weird, I get that.  Believe me, I leave most people in the dust in the weird department.  When I put in "is it legal" I half expected something crazy like "is it legal to marry your cousin in deliverance".  Probably so.  Or "is it legal to eat meat in california"  I doubt it.  But it blows my mind that so many people want to own a fox that it's the top question of legality in the United States.  Whatever happened to questions like "is it legal to kill an intruder inside your home"?  (In Louisiana, it is legal if you can articulate that you were in fear for your life.  In California, it's only legal to pee on yourself, and then only if you've had less than two glasses of water.)
So that leads us to ask:  Who are these people who want to own foxes so badly?  Attention hounds, that's who!  People who want to say, "Look at me!  I've got a fox!  What have you got?  A dog?  Please!"  Well, yes, I do have a dog!  A black lab named Ebony.  She is a pack animal who sees me as her alpha and lives to please me.  She is my ever-faithful companion who would lay down her life to protect me.  All she asks for in return is food and to spend time in my presence.  Try getting that level of dedication from your fox!
But I'm not here to tell you how to live your life.  I'm here to tell you whether or not it is legal to own one.  The answer is, by and large, yes.  The rules for ownership will vary from state to state and from city to city so be sure you get in touch with the proper authorities before you get online and order one.  Here in Louisiana, you may not own bear, coyotes, or non-human primates.  It says nothing about foxes.  Or human primates.  So apparently foxes and humans are okay to own here.  Hmm.  Could've sworn there was an Amendment about that.  The humans, I mean.  Not the foxes.

Origin Of The Word Bug

Origin Of The Word Bug

        Okay, first off, this one isn't an auto complete.  This was a request from my friend Katie.  Thanks, Katie!  I'll try to stick to the facts first, then speculation, then utter lunacy.
Katie's question was "Was the word "bug" to mean an insect or annoyance?"
According to Dictionary.com, the earliest use of the word referred to an insect, specifically the Bugge beetle, in the 17th century.  It may have even come from an earlier Welsh term meaning bogy or goblin.
Apparently, the name caught on and was thus applied to all six-legged creatures thereafter.  As you can guess from the word "apparently", this is where I dive into speculation since it is not really known how the term bug meaning "to annoy" came about.  It is widely assumed that since bugs are annoying the noun also became a verb.  You know, like Google?  Became a verb I mean, not annoying.  although sometimes it can be.
Now, since this blog is devoted mainly to Google auto completes, I feel obligated to throw in a couple. When I put in "bug", I got "bug out bag".  You preppers know what that is.  If you don't, you might want to look it up.  You're probably going to need one soon.
When I put in "origin of the word", Google gave me "origin of the word swag".  I thought this was Stuff We All Get, but Snopes had a different opinion.  They said it stood for Secretely We Are Gay.  Can't say I've ever heard of that one, but what do I know?
Well, I hope this was helpful and, more importantly, entertaining!  Want to know anything else?  I'm happy to make fun of whatever I find!

Where Is Chuck Norris?

Where Is Chuck Norris?

It is time again for another wonderful Google auto complete!  Today I decided that the best generic word to feed to Google was "where".  Google exploded back at me with the roundhouse kick auto complete of "where is chuck norris?".  I couldn't believe my luck!  So of course I followed it down the rabbit hole to see where it would take me.
Our first stop was NoChuckNorris.com . I don't want to ruin it for you.  Just go check it out.  I'll wait.  That was funny, right?!  I actually fell for it for a second.
The next one, ChuckNorrisFacts.com is full of the famous Chuck Norris facts we have all come to know and love like:
Chuck Norris does not sleep.  He waits.
Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet.  The loser had to wear his underwear n the outside.
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
At this point, you're probably thinking I decided to go with this post just to have an excuse to make a bunch of Chuck Norris jokes.  Well, you're right.  Because they're awesome!  I mean, did you know that Chuck Norris can dribble a basket ball?
Hmm... That reminds me... And some may call me blasphemous for this but there is someone who may be equally as awesome as Chuck Norris.  You may know him from the Dos Equis commercials.  He is...The Most Interesting Man In The World.  I'm sure you've heard the stories:
He bowls overhand.
He can speak French...in Russian.
He's a lover, not a fighter.  But he's also a fighter, so don't get any ideas.
You can see his charisma from space.
He never says anything tastes like chicken.  Not even chicken.
Kind of makes you wonder what would happen if these two ever fought.  Obviously, neither of these two could ever be defeated!  And yet if they faced each other, one of them would have to emerge victorious, right?  I don't know... Sounds like a paradox.  Like going back in time to kill your grandfather  before he sired your parent.  If you kill him, you won't exist to go back in time to kill him in the first place.
These two in a fight to the death just boggles the mind.  That sort of paradox could make the universe implode.  Hell, I've heard just thinking about it too hard can make a person's head explode.  Now that I think about it, I've got a terrible headache!  I need to take a little--



To Be Continued?

What Is Twerking

What Is Twerking

It's that time again!  Another post on a nearly random Google auto complete.  I usually try to be as generic as possible but sometimes Google needs a little nudge.  I started to just put "what is" in but all I got was boring stuff like "what is my ip?", "what is love", and "what is the best way to get rid of a body".  Just kidding about that last one.  It doesn't come up unless you type the whole thing in.  Had to learn that one the hard way!  By typing it in I mean, not by getting rid of a body.
Anyway, I was going to add "the" to the end of "what is" and as soon as I hit "t" I got "what is twerking".  What IS twerking? I thought.  I was stumped.  As you may have guessed by now I'm not much of a dancer.  If you hadn't guessed that, then you must not be one either.  Twerking is a dance move.  The name is derived from the term "to work it".
According to Wikipedia, twerking is shaking the hips in a up and down motion causing the bottom to jiggle.  And yes, I had to consult Wiki for this.  Sadly, I am such a stereotypical white man, it is tragic.  No rhythm whatsoever.  I even have an irregular heartbeat..  But fortunately, I didn't ONLY consult Wiki.  I also consulted Youtube.  If you would like to see how to twerk, check out Howcast's video here.
If you would like to see ME twerking it, please send me $10,000 because I'm afraid that's the only way it's going to happen.  I had started to say a million dollars because everyone says that but then I thought about it and realized, yes, I could live with a little bit of humiliation for ten thousand dollars.  I'm not set up to take credit cards at this time but please contact me for info on how to deliver payment.  Cash customers will receive a live performance.
As always, I want to hear back from you.  Did you see a good auto complete you want to share?  Do you have a topic you would like me to expound upon?  I want to hear about it!

What Is A Molly?

What Is A Molly?

God bless you, Google!  Thanks to your auto complete, I can find answers to questions I never would have thought to even ask.  Like "What is a molly?" which I got just from typing "what is".  Now I know of a brand new recreational drug that is sure to hasten the Zombie Apocalypse we all know is coming!
According to Snopes, a molly is a pill filled with a delightful blend of cocaine, crack (crack is made from cocaine so I assume they mention it twice because it is in both forms), ecstasy, meth and my personal favorite, bath salt!  OMG!  Apparently none of these deadly drugs was good enough for some people.  We had to mix them up in a blender and put them and pill form.  And get this:  It is usually taken while smoking marijuana!
Molly's effects on the body include slowed heart rate, sweating profusely due to overheating and heart and kidney failure.  There is very little research on this drug so not much is known about it's long term effects.  Um...really?  I'm no doctor but going to venture a theory that there will NEVER be much known about it's long term effects.  Because there ARE NO long term effects.  Because there IS NO long term!
If you don't have a SHTF bag (look it up) packed yet, now might be a good time to do so.  If this drug goes viral, you can be pretty sure face-eating will be the new national pastime.

Is Shingles Contagious?

Is shingles contagious?


Google auto complete of the day!  I typed "is" and got "is shingles contagious?" Yay!  First of all, let me point out that I am not a doctor.  If you think you might have shingles you should go to one.  Okay, let's jump into it.  The question I mean.  Not the shingles.
What is shingles?  Shingles, also known to people with MD's behind their name as herpes zoster (okay, that's a hint right there), is the same virus as chicken pox.  It presents itself as a painful blistering rash or patch.
After you have chicken pox as a child, the virus becomes dormant but it does not disappear.  As an adult many factors such as stress, age or medication can trigger the virus to become active again.
As for whether or not it is contagious, you cannot catch shingles from someone who has it.  However, according to WebMD, a person who has not had chicken pox or the vaccine can catch chicken pox from a person with active shingles.
I recently thought I had shingles on my back but I had no rash.  My wife said I was crazy and that I didn't have it.  So I asked a professional and my wife's opinion was validated.  About me not having shingles.  The jury's still out on my sanity.
Again, this is just entertainment.  If you think you have it, see a doctor!

PS:  I'm always looking for interesting stuff to research and share, so send me your questions and I'll do a little research, act like I know what I'm talking about, hopefully put a smile on your face

Is Boosie out of Jail?

Is Boosie out of Jail?

Thank you Google auto-complete!  I typed "is" and got "is boosie out of jail".  Well, I'm not one to shy away from the unknown, so let's delve into it, shall we?  Yes, we shall.
First things first.  Before we can determine if Boosie is or is not out of jail, we must find out who or what Boosie actually is.  I'll be right back.
Okay, I'm back.  Quick, right?  According to Wikipedia, Boosie is actually Lil Boosie, a hip hop artist from Baton Rouge, LA.  Hmm.  Guess I should have known that, being from Louisiana and all.  It turns out Boosie’s real name is Torrence Hatch.  Who knew that was a stage name?
In 2003 Boosie released his debut album For My Thugz.  Then in 2006 he released his second album Badazz.  These albums apparently did well because in 2008 he was able to invest in a keyboard with a working S key as illustrated in Survival of the Fittest.
Lil Boosie peaked in 2009 with his release of Superbad:  The Return of Boosie Badazz.  Boosie rode high on his success.  A little too high it seems because in 2010 he was arrested for possesion of marijuana.  Seriously?  Arrested for weed?  I didn’t think they did that anymore.  I thought they just gave you a stern reprimand and sent you on your way. Not so with Boosie.  Seems he was also wanted for murder.
Boosie pleaded guilty to the drug charges but fought the murder rap.  Ultimately he was found not guilty on the murder charge.  In 2011, he was sentenced to eight years for the drug charges, but is 2012 the charges may have been thrown out on a technicality.  The details are not clear but what is clear is that Boosie is still incarcerated at Angola State Penitentiary.
So, no, Boosie is NOT out of jail.

Why Do Men Cheat

Why Do Men Cheat?


    Well, I've decided to blog about Google's auto-completes.  I typed "why" into Google and the second auto-complete on the list was "Why do men cheat?"  The first was "Why is the sky blue?"  I'll get to that one later.  This one sounded more interesting.  Let me start off by saying I am by no means qualified to answer this question.  I am neither a counselor nor am I a cheater.
    Now, I'm not going to bash Google for being sexist.  That only came up the way it did because it is commonly searched.  Judging from people I've known and stories I've heard, I'd say men and women are about even in the cheating department.  As a rule (and there are exceptions to every rule) women are more open about being hurt.  They want to talk about it.  They communicate.  But us men are not usually like that.  When we're hurt, we don't want to talk about it.  We bottle it up and let it fester.  We believe we're just supposed to suck it up and move on.
    So now that we've leveled the playing field, let's attack the elephant in the room:  Why?  I believe men cheat for the same basic reason that women cheat.  They have needs that are not being met.  I'm not giving anyone a pass here.  Cheating is wrong.  It's not an excuse, it's just a reason.
    But what are those needs?  Well, for men the need is usually sexual.  For women, the need tends to be emotional.  This is a broad generalization and there are no absolutes in life.  I'm just saying "usually."  I don't want to get hate mail from women insisting that they DO have sexual needs or from men saying that it IS okay for us to have emotions.  I know this already!
    Perhaps these needs that are not being met stem from a lack of communication.  It's difficult for a partner to meet a need they do not know exists.  Or maybe the partner simply WILL NOT meet them.  There could be many reasons why a person seeks to fill a desire outside of their relationship.  In a way, it's easy to see why a person would cheat (not that it's okay!).  Maybe, instead of asking why do people cheat, we should be asking why do people stay in relationships in which their needs are not being met.
    My guess is that we have MANY needs.  The person we are with probably fills most of those requirements but not all of them.  It could be that the cheater really loves their partner and can't stand to lose them but can't control their need either.
    I'd love some feed back on this.  Not sure if this helps anyone, but I hope it does.