What Do Blank Eat?

What Do Blank Eat?

     Time for another Google auto complete post!  I was going to type in "what do you get with an nra membership" and I stopped at "what do".  Apparently everyone on planet Earth (or at least the English speaking parts of it) wants to know what some kind of animal eats!  Mainly turtles and bugs.  You clearly want to know so I shall answer.

     Number one on the list is "what do turtles eat".  Well, that depends on the type of turtle.  Freshwater turtles (terrapins) eat a combination of vegetation and meat (mostly fish).  Snapping turtles (true snappers, not just any turtle that opens its mouth to bite) eat almost strictly fish.  Land turtles (tortoises) eat almost strictly vegetation with a bug or two thrown in for protein (probably by accident).  Sea turtles, like their freshwater cousins, eat a combination of vegetation and seafood.

     At number two, we have ladybugs!  You would think that they are gentle little bugs that feed on nectar, but that would be wrong.  Ladybugs are actually voracious predators!  They eat aphids and mites and other small insects.  Gardeners love them for the benefits they offer.

     Third, you wanted to know what butterflies eat.  Butterflies suck liquid through a really long, straw-like tongue (called a proboscis).  While their diet mainly consists of nectar, they feed on a lot of other things like tree sap, pollen, rotten fruit, animal sweat, and even poop!  Gross, right?  So next time a butterfly lands on your arm and you're thinking how pretty it is, just remember:  That thing sticks its tongue in poop!

Things Science Cannot Explain: The Wow! Signal

Things Science Can't Explain:  The Wow! Signal

You know that part in the movie Contact where Jodie Foster is sitting on her truck listening to her headphones and suddenly she hears an alien signal?  I bet you didn't know that that scene was based on a real life event.  Except it wasn't on the hood of a pickup truck and it wasn't Jodie Foster.  I mean, Jodie Foster MAY talk to aliens but there's no proof of that.  Yet.
The signal was detected on August 15, 1977 in Delaware, Ohio by Jerry R. Ehman, a SETI researcher.  SETI is short for Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence.  The signal was recorded for 72 seconds before disappearing forever.  Mr. Ehman discovered the signal on the paper logs, circled them and wrote "Wow!" next to it.  This would become the name by which it would be known.
There's no way of knowing how long the signal actually lasted.  Because of Earth's rotation, the Big Ear Radio Telescope (You know that big array of satellite dishes at the end of Contact?  Something like that) was only able to record it for 72 seconds.  The signal could have gone on for nearly 24 hours, but we may never know.  We've never caught it again.
What makes the signal so interesting is the noise.  Did you know space makes noise?  If you want to hear it just tune your radio to a frequency on which there is no station.  You will probably hear static.  That's the sound of space!  It's kind of an echo of the Big Bang.  The Wow! signal was 30 times louder than regular space noise.
Following this finding, scientists tracked this part of the sky (which was determined to be in the Sagittarius constellation) for a solid month.  Unfortunately the event never repeated itself.  On an even sadder note, the piece of land, on which the Big Ear Radio Array was once located, is now home to a golf course.  Good news if you're a golfer.  Bad news if ET decides to reach out and touch us again.
But we really don't know if it was intelligent in nature.  Maybe it was a bit of rare space noise that we just happened to stumble upon.  Maybe it was intelligent but wasn't really directed at us.  Just some ET's television signal that just happened to cross our path.  We just don't know.  And that's really my point here.  We're always hearing about how science has an explanation for this or that but they downplay the fact that these are just theories.
Now, I'm not going to go on a crazy rant here and tell you that the New World Order is about to take over and the aliens are helping them.  I'm just saying that as Americans, we need to start being thinkers and questioners again.  We used to look at things objectively.  Now we just accept whatever CNN serves up as gospel.  I would guess that 90% of what we see on the news anymore is inaccurate at best, downright fraudulent at worst.  And I know plenty of people who would tell me that 90% is way too kind, but I don't want to get sued.
Wake up, people!  Start asking questions!

Things Science Cannot Explain: Intro

Things Science Cannot Explain:  Intro

Something I googled awhile back while in a weird state of mind was “things science cannot explain”.  I was watching the science channel and on one of the documentaries they mentioned something called the Wow! Signal.  I watched and watched, waiting for some kind of scientific explanation.  But there never was one!  Turns out, no one EVER figured out what it was.  Interesting, huh?  I promise I’ll come back to it,  For now, I don’t want to get too far off point as I’m prone to do.
This led me to wonder “What else can science not explain?”  So then I was off to the Batcave (I don’t actually have a Batcave, but I’m definitely getting one when I get rich) to do some research.  What I found blew my freaking mind!  We have a tendency to think of scientists as people who know almost everything.  It seems there is plenty they don’t know.  And the smarter they are, the more they admit to not knowing.  You’d think it would be the just the opposite.
While talking to a friend recently, he mentioned a new set of pyramids that had been found and that they predated known human history in that area.  I had a flashback to googling this type of stuff.  I told him if you want you want to see something really freaky, check out the Baigong Pipes (I know, I’m teasing, more on that later too).  By this time I had started Thank you Google! and I thought “That would make a great post!”
My original plan had been to write a Top 5 Things That Science Can’t Explain.  But then I started looking into it again and there were just too many awesome unexplained things to narrow down to just five.  So I said ten!  And began my search for the ten best.  And promptly gave up.  I said “Screw it!”
I decided then and there that Things Science Can’t Explain would have to be a recurring segment on Thank you Google!  I won’t leave you waiting long.  Here is just a taste of what’s to come:

The Wow! Signal
The Baigong Pipes
The Naga Fireballs
The Placebo Effect

Stay tuned!  The questions are coming!  No answers, mind you, but the questions are fantastic!

Ave Maria And People Getting Whacked

Ave Maria And People Getting Whacked

     I went to a wedding over the weekend and during the ceremony someone sang Ave Maria.  This immediately and inappropriately brought to mind several TV and movie scenes of people getting whacked.  Wtf?! I thought.  Here I am at church, at a wedding no less, and I'm reminded of Hollywood murder scenes?
     I was a little embarrassed but it led me to thinking.  And that's always dangerous for me.  I wondered, "What was the first movie Hollywood used Ave Maria to illustrate a hit scene with?"  I gotta be honest, Google let me down on this one.
     This is also embarrassing:  I don't really know my Godfather Trilogy trivia all that well.  I mean, I'm assuming the first scene this came from was from one of the Godfather movies.  I've seen the movies but it was a long time ago.  Now get ready for some blasphemy:  They weren't my favorite movies.  I know how much people love them, but I was never able to get into them.
     I tried googling (it's ok to not capitalize it when you use it as a verb) "ave maria godfather", "ave maria hit scene", "movie scenes set to ave maria" and I cannot get a specific scene from the Godfather movies!  Here's a fact about me:  I HATE not being able to find something I'm looking for.  Hell, I hate not being able to find something my wife is looking for!  If somebody asks me to find something, then dammit, I'm gonna find it!
     But alas, it didn't happen.  Now, what I could have done was just watch the trilogy, but like I said I didn't like it.  I'm not sitting through possibly eight hours of cinema I don't like to find a scene which may or may not exist.  Just not gonna happen.
     Instead of lamenting the loss, though, let us celebrate what I DID find!

Close match number 1:

This is just a fan vid.  Not from the actual movie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRTkRdeO33o

Close match number 2:

This is from Modern Family.  Not the most on-topic but definitely the funniest!

Close match number 3:

This is the Hitman movie trailer.  The franchise also added to the Hitman: Absolution game trailer, but I thought this one was better.  Timothy Olyphant (Raylen Givens from Justified) with a bald head!  Bald is beautiful!

     As I usually do, I ask for feed back.  What would you like to see on my page?  What questions would you like answered?  And for the love of God, what Godfather scene did they play that song to cause I'm not watching it again!

Is It Legal To Own A Fox?

Is It Legal To Own A Fox?

Oddly enough, I came across this one quite by accident.  I wasn't even looking for a good auto complete.  What I wanted to know was:  Is it legal to buy a still?  I was thinking about making my own whiskey. Turns out it IS legal in case you were wondering.  However, before I got the whole question out, Google unfailingly suggested something weird and unexpected and awesome!  Is it legal to own a fox?
Now this might not sound terribly off the wall until you consider how Google's auto complete works.  What it does is complete a partial group of words with the most commonly searched terms that start with the search string you've already typed in.  For example:  I typed "is it legal" and Google suggested the complete phrase "is it legal to own a fox".
I know people are weird, I get that.  Believe me, I leave most people in the dust in the weird department.  When I put in "is it legal" I half expected something crazy like "is it legal to marry your cousin in deliverance".  Probably so.  Or "is it legal to eat meat in california"  I doubt it.  But it blows my mind that so many people want to own a fox that it's the top question of legality in the United States.  Whatever happened to questions like "is it legal to kill an intruder inside your home"?  (In Louisiana, it is legal if you can articulate that you were in fear for your life.  In California, it's only legal to pee on yourself, and then only if you've had less than two glasses of water.)
So that leads us to ask:  Who are these people who want to own foxes so badly?  Attention hounds, that's who!  People who want to say, "Look at me!  I've got a fox!  What have you got?  A dog?  Please!"  Well, yes, I do have a dog!  A black lab named Ebony.  She is a pack animal who sees me as her alpha and lives to please me.  She is my ever-faithful companion who would lay down her life to protect me.  All she asks for in return is food and to spend time in my presence.  Try getting that level of dedication from your fox!
But I'm not here to tell you how to live your life.  I'm here to tell you whether or not it is legal to own one.  The answer is, by and large, yes.  The rules for ownership will vary from state to state and from city to city so be sure you get in touch with the proper authorities before you get online and order one.  Here in Louisiana, you may not own bear, coyotes, or non-human primates.  It says nothing about foxes.  Or human primates.  So apparently foxes and humans are okay to own here.  Hmm.  Could've sworn there was an Amendment about that.  The humans, I mean.  Not the foxes.

Origin Of The Word Bug

Origin Of The Word Bug

        Okay, first off, this one isn't an auto complete.  This was a request from my friend Katie.  Thanks, Katie!  I'll try to stick to the facts first, then speculation, then utter lunacy.
Katie's question was "Was the word "bug" to mean an insect or annoyance?"
According to Dictionary.com, the earliest use of the word referred to an insect, specifically the Bugge beetle, in the 17th century.  It may have even come from an earlier Welsh term meaning bogy or goblin.
Apparently, the name caught on and was thus applied to all six-legged creatures thereafter.  As you can guess from the word "apparently", this is where I dive into speculation since it is not really known how the term bug meaning "to annoy" came about.  It is widely assumed that since bugs are annoying the noun also became a verb.  You know, like Google?  Became a verb I mean, not annoying.  although sometimes it can be.
Now, since this blog is devoted mainly to Google auto completes, I feel obligated to throw in a couple. When I put in "bug", I got "bug out bag".  You preppers know what that is.  If you don't, you might want to look it up.  You're probably going to need one soon.
When I put in "origin of the word", Google gave me "origin of the word swag".  I thought this was Stuff We All Get, but Snopes had a different opinion.  They said it stood for Secretely We Are Gay.  Can't say I've ever heard of that one, but what do I know?
Well, I hope this was helpful and, more importantly, entertaining!  Want to know anything else?  I'm happy to make fun of whatever I find!

Where Is Chuck Norris?

Where Is Chuck Norris?

It is time again for another wonderful Google auto complete!  Today I decided that the best generic word to feed to Google was "where".  Google exploded back at me with the roundhouse kick auto complete of "where is chuck norris?".  I couldn't believe my luck!  So of course I followed it down the rabbit hole to see where it would take me.
Our first stop was NoChuckNorris.com . I don't want to ruin it for you.  Just go check it out.  I'll wait.  That was funny, right?!  I actually fell for it for a second.
The next one, ChuckNorrisFacts.com is full of the famous Chuck Norris facts we have all come to know and love like:
Chuck Norris does not sleep.  He waits.
Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet.  The loser had to wear his underwear n the outside.
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
At this point, you're probably thinking I decided to go with this post just to have an excuse to make a bunch of Chuck Norris jokes.  Well, you're right.  Because they're awesome!  I mean, did you know that Chuck Norris can dribble a basket ball?
Hmm... That reminds me... And some may call me blasphemous for this but there is someone who may be equally as awesome as Chuck Norris.  You may know him from the Dos Equis commercials.  He is...The Most Interesting Man In The World.  I'm sure you've heard the stories:
He bowls overhand.
He can speak French...in Russian.
He's a lover, not a fighter.  But he's also a fighter, so don't get any ideas.
You can see his charisma from space.
He never says anything tastes like chicken.  Not even chicken.
Kind of makes you wonder what would happen if these two ever fought.  Obviously, neither of these two could ever be defeated!  And yet if they faced each other, one of them would have to emerge victorious, right?  I don't know... Sounds like a paradox.  Like going back in time to kill your grandfather  before he sired your parent.  If you kill him, you won't exist to go back in time to kill him in the first place.
These two in a fight to the death just boggles the mind.  That sort of paradox could make the universe implode.  Hell, I've heard just thinking about it too hard can make a person's head explode.  Now that I think about it, I've got a terrible headache!  I need to take a little--



To Be Continued?